Winter to Spring

One of my favorite passages of scripture comes from Ecclesiastes, chapter three which begins, “For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven.” As I type these words I can hear the musical rendition sung by the Byrds playing in my head. Classic 1960’s genre. Good stuff in my humble opinion. Anyway…we live in Colorado and I love the different seasons. I really do. BUT…when we get three of the four seasons in the same day it is a little overwhelming. Yesterday it was 69 degrees. Today the high will be a skooch over 40 and tonight…the dreaded four letter word…SNOW. Ugh. Baseball season started yesterday, it is time for spring! I’m seriously over winter.

I just realized that I’m over winter – literally, physically, and most painfully – metaphorically. Yeah I’m done with cold, ice, snow. But I’m really done with dying and death, loss and sadness, grief, tears, numbness, emptiness, and the particular kind of fucking pain that follows all of this. Done! Oh, and as a two on the Enneagram, I am so done with being helpless for those I love. I am simply done.

Seasons come in more ways than just the natural ones. Seasons of life are just as real. Nature reflects and holds within her the deep wisdom of carrying on, moving forward, coming back around yet one more time. She beckons us to “see” and see deeply. Let me caution you here, it takes real courage to behold what she is baring and bearing. The Celts called this whole movement revelatory. The movement within seasons and one to another mirrors our own journeys, reminds us that if we are tired of winter, too bad. We have not received the full weight of its message as of yet. and yes, spring IS coming but not in my time.

We live in the presence of a loving God who is hidden and made manifest in all things. As James Finley says and lives, “God spares us from no- thing and sustains us in all things.”

“For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven…” And I get tired of them sometimes. And I enjoy them and appreciate them at others. Whenever I am worn out or ecstatic I find some words to rub together and I call that prayer. Deep down I know that spring is coming; those I have lost are already dancing. My loved ones will stand together, hold the promise and eventually feel spring’s embrace. We will be weak and we will be strong.

For Pat, Chuck, Howie, and dear Angela